East Brisbane, QLD / Poet, Writer & Curator
Working from Home / Self-isolation
Chloe Mills is a Brisbane based poet, and co founder of literary zine concrescence. Her work has been published in various journals and online.
I’ve been dealing with heartbreak in isolation. Which means I’ve been staying up until 3am most mornings, but when I do finally sleep, my dreams have been so vivid. They’ve most been about the girl I miss, but Thursday night when I finally fell asleep, I dreamt I was wearing an all white suit. Like the ones they wear in a clockwork orange. But instead of trawling the streets of East Brisbane for violence, I was skateboarding in the middle of the night. I was skateboarding down my childhood streets, in my dream, like when awake these days, they are pandemic empty, and so dark. While I was skateboarding I was so aware of the panic I felt about an item I’d lost, I didn’t know at this point what it was, but the feeling was exactly like when I turn my back in a park and one of my sons disappears behind a tree, and for a split second I feel like I’m never going to see them again. In my dream I was a really good skateboarder, I was so smooth along the Grey concrete ground of the familiar streets but at one point a wheel hit a rock and I fell off, when I looked up I wasn’t on the street anymore, I was somewhere floating in space, weightless, when I looked to my left I could see the object I was so desperately searching for, but it was just out of reach, and melting, in my dream, I started to cry. I woke up for real in the afternoon still crying, and then I got up, made coffee, and cut all my hair off into my kitchen sink.